What I'm Sitting With

As I walked up my basement stairs on Friday night into the kitchen, I was greeted by the unmistakable smell of sawdust from our latest Big Deal™ home renovation.

Almost immediately, I was transported to a memory from a little over ten years ago when I saw the new kitchen cabinets in our house during our first Big Deal™ home renovation. I could almost see myself standing in the middle of that half-finished kitchen, tears in my eyes, marveling at how beautiful the cabinets were. We had worked so hard to arrive at the point where we could buy a house and renovate the kitchen, and the cabinets were a symbol of both the effort and the approaching finish line of the project. (If I’m being honest, the pregnancy hormones might also have played a role in those tears.)

Two things struck me in that moment of flashback.

The first was how something that felt extraordinary ten years ago has become completely normal. The cabinets that once moved me to tears now fade into the background of everyday life.

The second was that home improvement isn't really something you finish. Families grow. Needs change. Materials wear down. The spaces that served us well in one season need to be reimagined for the next. A home isn't a project we complete; it's something we continually work on.

Both themes have been showing up in my coaching conversations lately.

With one leader navigating a major life transition into their next chapter, we spent time making progress visible. Like navigating a long journey, turning around long enough to see how far you've already come can be just as important as landing the next step.

With another leader, we found ourselves discussing leadership development as the work of a lifetime. There is no point at which life stops asking us to grow. New chapters call for new capacities. New challenges reveal new edges. And boy, are we in a world that is asking more of us.

At first, these conversations felt connected only by the theme of growth. But the more I reflect on them, the more I think they're also about how growth can hide.

The things that once required courage, effort, and intention eventually become normal. The role that once stretched you stops feeling hard. The responsibility that once felt intimidating becomes routine.

Between those before-and-after moments is a liminal space where growth is happening, but can feel invisible. Settling into a new normal can disguise just how much has changed.

Many of the leaders I work with have spent years working toward a promotion, a new level of responsibility, or a significant life transition. Then they arrive: the title changes, and the opportunity they've been working toward becomes reality.

From the outside, all of the visible markers are there. But internally, they're still waiting to feel different: more confident, more certain, more like they belong in the role they now possess. They're waiting for the feeling of having arrived to catch up with the reality that they already have.

Meanwhile, evidence of their growth surrounds them, unnoticed.

I shared a few weeks ago that meaning is constructed, and this newest musing has added another layer to that assertion for me. It's underscoring why it's so important to occasionally look back, or to gain enough distance to look in. If we don't, it's far too easy to overlook how far we've traveled.

I suspect that the moments that no longer catch our attention because they have become part of our everyday life are often the very moments that mark our growth. And with intention, they can become the moments in which meaning is made.

Riverdrop Coaching News + Offerings

Last Call: Free Resilience Assessments

Over the past few years, I have offered complimentary resilience assessments as part of my ongoing work exploring how individuals and leaders respond to challenge, change, and complexity.

I'll be wrapping up this round of assessments this week. If you've been curious about your resilience profile—or simply want a structured opportunity to reflect on where you're thriving and where you're feeling stretched—this is your last call.

The assessment includes a personalized report to help make sense of your results and identify practical next steps.

If you'd like to participate, simply reply to this email today and I'll send you an invitation link.

Seeking Beta Testers: The Personal Early Warning System

One of the ideas I've been exploring is the gap between external change and internal adaptation.

That observation has led me to begin adapting my Early Warning System work—originally designed to help organizations identify signals before strain becomes disruption—for individuals.

The goal is simple: to help people recognize the subtle indicators that they're thriving, stretching, adapting, or approaching overload before those signals become impossible to ignore.

I'm looking for a small group of beta participants who are navigating a meaningful transition, growth period, or increased leadership responsibility and would be willing to help me test and refine the framework.

If that sounds like you, reply to this email. I'd love to tell you more.

Community Recommendation

A quick heads-up for those in director-level leadership roles: I'll be attending an upcoming leadership pop-up gathering designed for directors and senior leaders who are exploring their next move.

I'm not directly affiliated with the event (though I am affiliated with PopUpThinkTank), but it looks like a valuable opportunity for leaders looking to connect with peers navigating similar challenges. You can register here if you're interested.

Coaching Compass

(You can hit reply if you want to unpack it—I read every message—or you can set up a time to connect with me here.)

P.S. A lot of what I explore in these newsletters comes back to the leadership patterns that emerge under pressure. The way you lead in those moments isn’t random. If you’re curious which pattern you tend to default to, you can take the diagnostic here.