What I'm Sitting With

I hosted a PopUpThinkTank session the other week on significance scarcity, which, admittedly, you might be tired of hearing about! But I had an aha in the wee hours of the morning and wanted to share it with you.

In my session, I shared the context that so many of the derailing moments I have witnessed or experienced started with behavioral patterns that reminded me of what can happen in scarcity: a turning inward; a hoarding, hunker-down instinct; a competitive, existential-feeling pressure. Which prompted me to think about what was actually scarce in leadership right now. When I looked across a trust recession, low employee engagement, a loneliness epidemic, AI and the future of work, along with increasing complexity, it made sense to me that one thing that could be scarce is a feeling of significance — knowing that one's contributions matter in the system they're in.

My favorite part of the PopUpThinkTank format is that as the facilitator, I can see the ideation output happen in real time. With this session, it brought me to tears. We have a deep need as humans to know that we matter. It's one of the ways we begin to think about why we're here and what our purpose is. And it's not always met. What I'm learning is that it doesn't even transcend contexts within one life — I might know my own significance at home or at work, but in a mastermind group, or a volunteer setting, I might be completely disconnected from it.

That disconnection is the part that stays with me, because it means significance as I’m defining it isn't a trait you either have or don't; it’s a sense we make of our individual contexts that is, in its very nature, ephemeral. I had a client once who leaned toward the nihilist perspective from time to time, which could make it hard to care about workplace metrics and key results. But on one thing, they were very clear: the human impact matters. In fact, it might be the only thing that actually does. But how do we measure it? And if it can come or go, how might we take note of it when it's here?

They’re questions I ponder in my own business. I'm most motivated by impact, but feedback mechanisms are imperfect when it comes to longer-term change — for the same reason significance is harder to measure in a complex system. When we can't directly measure a thing, we look for a proxy, which is why so many organizations run engagement surveys. I don't think the evidence I'm looking for is measurable at all. But here's my aha: the loops are reinforcing, and they move in opposite directions. I might not need to know the exact answer, but if I can see which direction I'm heading, I'll know which reinforcing loop I'm riding: the one that tightens with scarcity and uncertainty, or the one that expands with significance and community.

So here's what I'm sitting with, and maybe you will too: you might not be able to measure your own significance right now. But you can probably feel which direction you're moving in. Tightening, or expanding? And if you feel yourself tightening, where might you find connection with others to help you move towards expanding?

Riverdrop Coaching News + Offerings

If you missed the PopUpThinkTank but want to check out some of what we learned, you can view it here.​

I'm excited to be presenting at NextUp Visa's quarterly meeting on Friday — we'll be talking about leading through change and transition, when change feels a lot like uncertainty these days, and the role community can play in alleviating some of its effects.

I'll also be speaking at the Maryland Nonprofits Annual Conference on October 23, on a variation of this topic as it pertains to organizational burnout. If you'll be there, please stop by and say hello! Register here​

I'm thrilled to share that I've started an associate faculty position with Fielding Graduate University's Certificate in Evidence-Based Coaching, and I'll be continuing my mentor coaching work into the new year with a mentor coaching specialization. If you are — or know — an ACC or PCC coach who'd like to talk about mentor coaching, let's find a time.

Coaching Compass

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P.S. I'm not sure I've said this before, so I want to be clear: I believe people matter simply because they are. That's a separate thing from whether we feel our contributions matter in whatever system we're in. These two get conflated often, both internally and externally, so I want to name it directly: the feeling of mattering and the fact of mattering are different things.